Perfectly Overwhelmed? Let’s Talk About Perfectionism and Anxiety

If you’re a student, you might not think of yourself as a perfectionist. Maybe you don’t agonize over every little detail, but perfectionism can be sneaky—it doesn’t always look like color-coded calendars and flawless essays. Sometimes it sounds like, “I’ll just get through this semester, and then I’ll take a break,” or, “If I don’t stay busy, I’ll fall behind.” It can show up as procrastination because starting feels overwhelming, or as over-scheduling yourself to the point of exhaustion. Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting straight A’s; it’s the underlying fear that if you don’t push yourself constantly, things will fall apart.

Why Perfectionism Feels Safe (But Isn’t)

Perfectionism tricks you into thinking it’s a safety net. “If I do everything perfectly, I’ll avoid criticism, failure, or disappointment.” But instead of keeping you safe, it keeps you stuck—constantly chasing an unattainable standard. It doesn’t always wave a flag to announce itself, though. Sometimes it’s that quiet, relentless voice urging you to “try harder” or “just keep it together.”

When perfectionism is masked, it can be harder to spot, but the results are the same: constant stress, burnout, and the feeling that you can’t ever let yourself relax. And here’s the thing—being human means being messy sometimes. Mistakes, missteps, and even outright failures aren’t signs that something’s wrong with you—they’re signs that you’re growing, learning, and, well, living. Seth Godin speaks specifically about imposter syndrome, which is often a driver with those of us who struggle with perfectionism. He reframes it as evidence that we are creating, struggling, growing towards something important and that we are all imposters. As a student- particularly when you might have past experiences of being one of the sharper students in the class before getting to college- feeling like an imposter is actually some evidence that you have earned a seat in a classroom of other qualified folks. So the work you have ahead is believing that they got there the same way you did and now you all have to face the vulnerable reality of leveling up and letting go of hiding behind perfection. 

How Therapy Can Help Break the Spiral

Here’s where therapy comes in. A good therapist isn’t just there to tell you, “It’s okay not to be perfect” (though they probably will say that). Therapy is about helping you understand why perfectionism has such a hold on you. Maybe it’s tied to a fear of disappointing others, or maybe you’ve learned to equate your worth with your achievements. Therapy helps you unpack those beliefs and rewrite the story you’re telling yourself.

Through therapy, you can:

• Learn to set realistic expectations for yourself.

• Notice when anxiety is driving your decisions and hit the pause button.

• Practice self-compassion instead of self-criticism.

And the best part? Therapy isn’t about flipping a switch or becoming someone you’re not. It’s about finding freedom from the pressure of being perfect and giving yourself permission to just be.

Small Steps Toward Peace

Breaking free from the perfectionism spiral doesn’t happen overnight, but you can start small. Try this: the next time you feel the urge to redo something “just one more time,” pause and ask yourself, “Is this really about making it better, or is it about feeling safe?” Remind yourself that done is better than perfect and that your worth isn’t tied to a single grade, project, or performance.

It’s okay to care. It’s okay to try hard. But it’s also okay to give yourself grace. Perfectionism might be loud, but with a little help, you can turn down the volume and find some much-needed peace.

At Roots in College Station, we are talking about imposter syndrome and perfectionism a lot, and often about ourselves and how we are managing our own inner critics, finding more compassion for ourselves. We are actively working on how we grow as individuals, too (even in our own therapy on a regular basis!), and so you aren’t alone in this. We are here to support you with individual therapy that addresses this unique flavor of anxiety.