How Do I Know If Therapy Is Working?
Let’s be honest: therapy can feel a little weird at first. You’re sitting in a room (or on Zoom), spilling your guts to someone who’s essentially a stranger, and wondering, “Am I doing this right? Is this even helping?” The truth is, therapy isn’t a quick fix—it’s a process. And like any process, it takes time. But there are signs that therapy is working, even if it doesn’t always feel like it in the moment.
You Feel Understood (Like, Really Understood)
One of the first markers that therapy is helping is feeling like your therapist really “gets” you. Not just the surface-level stuff, but the deeper, messier parts. There’s something powerful about being seen for who you are without judgment. That feeling of being understood can help you start to understand yourself in new ways, too. In the approach that our clinic takes, we believe our expertise is not that we are an expert on you, but that we are trained to keep leaning in more deeply. There is some sense (in all relationships) that we are always “approximating” each other, guessing at who the other really is, and in therapy, it’s the unique relationship where you get to talk through that. Our guesses at one another are always intertwined with our past experiences, but we get closer to really getting each other as we test those with vulnerable honesty.
2. You’re Responding Differently (Even in Tiny Ways)
Ever catch yourself reacting to something and think, “Huh, that’s not what I would’ve done a month ago”? That’s therapy doing its thing. Maybe you’re pausing before snapping at your partner or finding yourself less overwhelmed in situations that used to send you spiraling. These subtle shifts are huge—they’re proof that the work you’re doing is paying off.
3. You’re Getting Real—With Yourself and Your Therapist
Therapy tends to get real when you do. Maybe you’ve started opening up about things you’ve been avoiding for years, or you’re finally telling your therapist how something they said rubbed you the wrong way. (Yep, you can do that!) These moments of honesty—both with yourself and your therapist—are where the magic happens. In a more Relational approach that we take here at Roots, we are actively asking for you to try out your honesty with us as you feel safe to do so. Sometimes, it happens between you and your therapist before it starts happening with others.
4. Your Relationships Are Changing for the Better
As you dig into therapy, you might notice shifts in how you show up with the people in your life. Maybe you’re setting boundaries with that one friend who always takes a little too much. Or maybe you’re letting yourself be more vulnerable with your partner instead of shutting down. Therapy isn’t just about what happens in the room—it’s about how that work spills over into the rest of your life. If you are way into therapy and you have a new bestie (your therapist), but nothing is changing in the way you engage in your world outside of the office, then take note of that and start talking about that with your therapist to get into it further.
5. You’re Finding Clarity (Even When It’s Hard)
Sometimes therapy feels like untangling a giant knot. At first, it’s messy and confusing, but then you start to see the threads more clearly. That clarity, even when it’s uncomfortable, is a big sign therapy is working. Understanding why you feel or act a certain way is the foundation for making real, lasting changes.
6. You’re Willing to Stick With It
Here’s the thing about therapy: it’s not always sunshine and breakthroughs. There will be weeks where you leave a session feeling lighter and weeks where you leave feeling like you’ve just run an emotional marathon. Often, therapy feels like it makes things a little worse before it gets better. We have been doing the things we are doing to avoid pain, and facing it sometimes means the pain is more front and center before you learn how to carry it differently. But if you’re showing up, engaging in the process, and sharing honest feedback with your therapist, you’re doing the work—and that’s progress.
If you’re still unsure whether therapy is helping, talk to your therapist about it. Seriously, it’s their job to help you figure this stuff out. Therapy isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being willing to show up, dig in, and trust the process—even when it’s messy. So, give yourself some grace and remember: growth takes time, but it’s worth it.
Here at Roots in College Station, we really value your transparency and honesty with us. Therapy is a huge investment, and we believe it is worth the investment to feel the relief, clarity, and sturdiness you are seeking. Talk with us about how you feel like it is and isn’t working. We are always learning each other, and while we value evidence-based practices backed by substantial research, how those practices are applied in our work together depends on the unique qualities and story of the person in front of us.