How do I know if my therapist is a good fit for me?

Finding the right therapist can feel a bit like dating—without the awkward “Who’s paying for this?” moment at the end. It’s about connection, trust, and a shared sense of purpose. So, how do you know if you’ve found *your person*? For starters, within a couple of sessions, you should feel like your therapist “gets” you. Not in a “we’d totally hang out” kind of way (because that’s not their job), but in a way that makes you think, “Okay, they’re really trying to understand me, not just ticking boxes on a form.” 

There’s also a difference between feeling understood and just having your diagnosis recited back to you. Expertise matters, but therapy isn’t about your therapist showing off their knowledge. Remember the scene in Good Will Hunting where the therapist says, “You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give an ish about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some book.” This is actually the therapist telling the client that he is hiding behind how much he knows, but therapists are infamous for the same, and it can be a real deterrent to the connection you need for exceptional therapy.

Research shows the most important predictor of success in therapy is the relationship itself.

It’s about feeling truly seen and having a sense of direction for your work together, and while it’s totally normal for both of us to do some hiding (emotionally…that would be weirder if we were both actually hiding in a session), but it’s the therapist’s job as much as it is yours to show up emotionally in session with you, not just with their expertise on a topic.

A good therapist will bring some direction to the room. Therapy isn’t just venting (though we love a good vent sesh). Your therapist should help you navigate your challenges with intention. By the third session, tops, you should start to see the breadcrumbs leading somewhere—like, “Hey, this isn’t just aimless talking; we’re actually heading toward something meaningful here.” If it feels like your therapist is perpetually stuck in neutral, it might be time to ask some questions or consider other options. 

Finally, trust your gut. Therapy can feel vulnerable, even uncomfortable at times, but it shouldn’t feel wrong. You don’t need to agree with everything your therapist says, but you should feel understood, heard, and like they’re genuinely invested in your growth. If you’re walking out of sessions feeling connected to the process (and maybe even a little lighter, with some time), you’re in the right hands. And if not? It’s okay to say, “This isn’t the right fit for me.” The goal is to find someone who can walk with you, not just sit across from you. 

Here at Roots in College Station, that’s why we have a Care Coordinator who follows up as you get started.  We have a really good team of uniquely warm and competent folks, and occasionally, it’s not the right fit.  Our Care Coordinator has a good sense of the group and can help you find another clinician, either with us or in the community, if you need something different.